gray

She was green and I was purple and in the middle we were gray.

And every time we tried to stretch in each other’s light we injured each other and became less of who we were.

So we retreated to our own worlds in our own colors where we felt safe. 

But in the middle there was gray. 

And it was hard and soft and light and dark and too much and not enough of everything that life is. 

And if I could change it I wouldn't. 

I would do it all again. 

Because she made me. Good and bad. Every piece. She made me purple so she could be green and we could be separate but equal. She gave and took and so did I. And in the end it was balanced. 

Like gray. 

burden

bloom in reverse

curl

furled tightly

wrapped in layers

so much smaller than I started

much less than I want to be

but it's cozy here

under the layers

maybe they’ll swallow me

freed from the burden of growth

shrinking to nothing

sometimes sounds nice

tender

my insides on the outside

I'm tender to the touch

expose my greatest weaknesses

shaking out the dust

these words have stowed away

so long and left unwritten

that every letter I type out

seems like a work of fiction

willingly

i've begun to write our story

i wish that you could see it

but choosing your own death

means you'll never read it

maybe these words when written

will help me heal the loss of you

time will only tell

if that could ever be true

because nothing can repair

life taken willingly

and every day without you now

is very slowly killing me

drowning

“Grief is like an ocean,

it comes in like a tide.”

they say with a hint of hope

and a little bit of pride

little do they know

the wisdom they bestow

likely helps me not

I’ve never learned to swim

reluctant

i never loved to write

like I loved to paint

or to burn in passion

for a man, unwanted

but the words are there

nonetheless

"Send Them Back"

Trump is a racist

why won’t you say it?

Spilling facts is not biased!

Do you seriously buy this?

That you could support a man

but not his plan

to eliminate an entire race

from the United States.

United? Such a joke.

It fucking makes me choke

on the tears that I shed

when white terrorists lead

by an orange man in office

kill 22 souls. Their coffins

are on your head.

As he steps over our dead

don’t forget that you said

“SEND THEM BACK!”